Due to a insanely busy schedule these days, I have to take a little break from providing dating advice to all of you ladies out there in need of a straightforward dose of reality.

I hope to be able to give this site more love and attention, but for now my focus lies elsewhere.

I thank everyone who has reached out for my advice and all of those who have left your comments.

Gone but not forgotten, check back as I just might return!

Cheers,

Date Guy

Hi Date Guy, I’m 14 (probably a little too young for your advice, but this was the only website that looked promising, so whatever). I’m interested in politics and I’m at the top of most of my classes, so I’ve had a lot of guys tell me that I’m too smart and that they find it intimidating. I don’t want to stop answering in class or have my grades drop, but I was wondering if you had any ideas for not scaring guys off? I mean, it’s not even like I show off my grades. Thanks!

14 years old? Yeah, probably a bit younger than I’m used to giving advice to but I couldn’t resist as the answer is so easy. First off, congratulations on taking school so seriously and doing so well. As you get older, you will find that quality guys find smart women sexy. So whatever you do, don’t let your grades suffer because you are afraid that guys find it a turn-off. Keep doing what your are doing and you’ll find plenty of dudes chasing you around, especially in college.

So what can you do for now? Try complimenting some of these guys when they ask/answer questions in class (ie, “that was a really question you asked in class today” or “wow, I never would have thought of it that way”). Guys are ego-manics, so anytime a girl tells them something that makes them feel good they will be happy. And being that you are viewed as smart, your compliments it will come off as genuine and score you some points with the boys. Keep up the good work!

Hello Date Guy. I am 20 years old and I have been seeing this 21 year old that im going to school with for about a year. We met at school and he was really nice so we ended up talking to one another. He and I hung out a couple times and he made me wait for 6 months to have sex with him…out of respect. We have been sleeping together for awhile now, after having honest discussion with one another that we would be exclusive and not sleep or see anyone else. He and i have talked about personal things for the entire year now, as well as sharing some intimate thoughts.

The sex is passionate, and it seems as though he cares very much about the act of doing so. He also tells me that he cares about me alot, and seems to be concerned if I’m distant (thinking i might be sleeping with a new guy). We have had discussions also where I have told him that I would like to be more, and he tells me that “he is working on his career (which he wants to open his own business), and that is his first priority and that all distractions need to be second right now. Of course I respect that because I seem to want that space as well right now. He seems to not talk to me for a couple days here and there, and I don’t know if I’m over reacting about that part because I hear that guys just dont value meaningless phone talk as much as females. Please let me know what i should think..thanks

There is a very good chance he doesn’t particularly enjoy talking on the phone with you. If he really is tring to focus on his career and build a business, then he may find that the time he spends talking with you on the phone is time that he could be doing something more productive. Don’t take this personal however, some guys just aren’t good on the phone, period. So don’t take this as an automatic sign that he doesn’t want to date you or is no longer interested in you. Keep the conversation intersting, don’t try to force it, and don’t drag it out.

It’s my guess that he’s probably the one that tries to get off the phone with you first, he’s initiating the end of the conversation. Here’s something you may want to try the next time you talk to him. At the first sign that the conversation is winding down, you (instead of him) immediately end the call on your terms (”there’s a call on the other line” or “you just looked at the clock and realized you are running late and will have to call him back tomorrow”, or whatever excuse you can think of). He’s the one used ending the call, so when you beat him to the punch, you’ll really have him scrating his head because you just took control. This kind of tactic could ultimately get him to spend more time talking to you. See, he’ll probably try to hold the conversation longer because he’ll think that if he lets it slows down that YOU will be the one bored with him. He won’t like that but it will make him want you more.

Dear Date guy..

I was in love with this guy for over a year now .. An I mean true love.. at least from myside!
oneday he said that he can’t be with me.. he even cryed to me on the phone and said : sorry but I can’t do it .. ( afraid of commitment he then confessed..)
I can’t see to get over it .. all his promises . all our plans .. all the love.. every word every touch ..
I can’t stop crying and i can’t have a minute of happiness , I wanna be myself again .. wanna get over it .. how do they do that???
its my first love.. and am 24 years old now

please tell me how to get over it .. how to be happy and normal again?

First off, sorry to hear about your situation. A broken heart is something we all go through at one point or another and is one of the most anguishing experiences we can have. But keep that in mind, that EVERYONE has their heart broken and EVERYONE eventually gets over it. As will you.

In the short term, your best bet first and foremost is to let go of any thoughts you may have of getting back together with this guy. I know it’s easy to want to think that he’ll “come to his senses” but the reality is that the longer you hold on to that hope, the longer and stronger you will hurt. So immediately accept the reality of the situation and know that YOU will be moving on.

Second, keep in mind that for the most part every day will get a tad bit easier. You may have your set backs here and there, but overall the more time that passes the better off you’ll be. The saying “time heals all wounds” actually holds true as one day you will find out.

Third, don’t take it personal. I’ve broken up with tons of girls and most of them had absolutely nothing wrong with them. At the end of the day, I just wasn’t ready to be fully committed and unfortunately I broke things off with many outstanding ladies. I look back at most of them now and have nothing but the utmost respect for them. They weren’t the ones “broken,” I was.

Forth, use this time to challenge yourself, rebuild yourself. Here is the perfect opportunity to make yourself a better person than you were while you were dating this guy.

Lastly, have faith. Know that things happen for a reason. Yes, it’s so easy to say and so hard to believe in times like these but trust me, it’s true. You may have thought that this guy was the perfect person for you, forever. But there will come a day that someone better suited for you will come into your life and make you even happier than you were before. Pretty much every girl that I dumped shortly moved on and ended up with guys who really know how to take care of them and showed them the love that I ultimately did not. At the end of the day, they were the ones who ended up better off than I. There I was, single for years and all of my ex’s were completely happy in healthy relationships. I actually was a bit jealous.

So know that you will get over this hurt, there is no doubt. You’ll have to ride out the pain, there is no doubt. But one day, just like all of us have, you’ll look back and it will be a distant memory. You’ll actually forget what the hurt felt like.

My biggest advice, just take it day by day. Every day that passes is a small victory.

Cheers,

The Date Guy

Dear Date Guy,

I am in a situation I don’t want to be in. I have been seeing Zack for four years we were high school sweethearts and now we have an 8 month baby. We had her very young we are both 19. Well we have dated and broken up a bunch of times and I really do love him. Problem is he isn’t being honest with me he lies all the time and I have a feeling he is cheating. I honestly don’t know what to do do I hold on or just let him go. I don’t know if he is even interested in our daughter. I hope you can tell me what to do cause he wont be honest with me and tell me whats going on. How do I get him to be honest with me?

-A.S.

Dear A.S.,

First I would encourage you to read some advice I gave to another girl who was in a similar situation, a baby and a boyfriend not completely committed to the relationship. You can check that out HERE.

Like my advice to the other girl, you need to put your baby first before anyone else. You brought this being into the world and you need to provide the absolute healthiest environment you can. Ok, I’ll get off of my soap box now.

Your guy is young, very young. Girls are better suited to have children earlier than guys. Simply put, we’re just immature. And your boyfriend is no exception. He’s obviously not ready to be in a fully committed relationship with you. If he was, you wouldn’t feel like he is lying and cheating. So don’t overlook that.

So what to do? Give this guy some space. You need to stop expecting him to act like your boyfriend as that is only adding stress and will likely do nothing more than push him away. Instead, treat him like the father of your baby and only expect him to be committed to that. Things may change down the road, but right now you need to shift gears and put your child first and focus on this guy as a father and not a significant other.

Best of luck,

Date Guy