Dear Date Guy,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now. He is always gone and hardly has any time to call me or hang out. He told me when we just started this relationship that he would be busy and wouldn’t have a lot of time for me. We both knew it would be hard to keep in touch and talk at all even though the college I am going to is 15 miles away from him. His mom took away his phone b/c she thought that he called me too much so we only get to talk on the phone once a week, but lately, he doesn’t call me at all. The last time he called me was 2 weeks ago, and we haven’t hung out for more than a month. I haven’t talked to him in so long! I leave texts saying when I will be in his town so we can maybe get together, but they are left unanswered. I don’t really know what I am asking, i just want another person’s opinion. Are we over? Should I write him a letter? I wrote him a note once and he didn’t like the fact that I wrote out my feelings instead of face to face. What advice do you have for me Date Guy?

-Janice from Portland, Oregon

Dear Janice

I’m sorry to break the news to you, you seem sweet with a big heart, but in reality he’s on to someone new.

Take youself out of the equation and look at what you wrote from a 3rd person perspective:
- “lately he doesn’t call me at all”
- “we haven’t hung out for more than a month”
- “I text him when I’m in town but they go unanswered”

Stop telling yourself what you want to hear and instead focus on the reality of the situation. If he was serious and wanted to be your boyfriend, he would act like a boyfriend. If he loved you, he’d be going out if his way to spend time with you. Even if he didn’t have a car, a guy in love would ride a bike 15 miles to see his girl. And his mom took away his phone? Lame excuse, I can’t believe you believe it. If he wanted to talk to you, he’d do whatever it took, even if it meant borrowing a friend’s phone. How about email? Does this loser not have access to the Internet? There is this place called a library and they offer free Internet access.

So, to answer your questions:
“Are we over?” Yes.
“Should I write him a letter?” No, he didn’t appreciate it before, he won’t appreciate it now.

The excuse of not liking the letter because you wrote out your feelings instead of face to face is an excuse. All it did was probably deflect or put off him having to address the things you wrote about. For a guy, a good offense is a great defense. See, you got hung up on his excuse instead of the real issue, your feelings.

Save your self respect. Get out now. Don’t beat yourself up over it, realize it was an issue with HIM, not you. You’re in college? Now is the time in your life when you should be living it up, meeting new people, a moving on to a new phase of life.

-The Date Guy

Posted by admin in Phone Calls, Text Messages