Archive for December, 2007.

Date Guy on Vacation

The Date Guy is heading to Europe!

I’m off to explore European culture for a bit.

But worry not, I’ll be back to dish out more advice for you ladies in a few weeks.


-Date Guy

Posted by admin in Uncategorized

Your Baby Comes First, Boyfriend Second

Date Guy,

I was dating this guy off and on for about three months and then I found out I was pregnant. He took the news well and asked me to move in. I lived with him for about two months and just the other day we got into a huge fight and he dumped me. We have only fought about three times throughout our relationship but every time we do, he dumps me. Also, we fight via text message because he never will call or come home if we are fighting. I’m going threw a stressful time and am very upset. I believe he isn’t really ready for a committed relationship if he continues to dump me whenever we fight. He made me move out of his house so now I’m living with my parents and we aren’t talking. He is just so confusing and I’m so hurt. He acts, however, like he doesn’t care at all. He told he would be a good dad to baby and I know he will. I need him too though. Please help.

It sounds like your guy tried “to do the right thing” by having you move in, likely for the sake of your baby. Unfortunately his habit of breaking up with you when you fight is definitely a sign that he’s not ready for a true commitment. The good news here is that you’ve only been dating this guy for about six months it sounds like, so it’s not as if you’re married of have a long and deep history to overcome.

The most important piece of advice I can give you is that through this rough period you must do one thing first and that is to focus all of your energies into the human being that you will be bringing into this crazy world of ours. At this point your current relationship with your boyfriend (ex-boyfriend) needs to take a back seat as it is secondary in importance. I know you are probably thinking, “but he’s my baby’s father” and you’re right, but for him to be the best father possible it sounds like he’s going to need some space for a while. The last thing you want to do at this point is drive this guy away completely. Obviously he’s not that interested in the relationship between the two of you right now. You’re going to have to weather that storm. What you want to do is make sure that by the time you have your baby that this guy actually embraces the role of fatherhood.

When guys are stressed out (which having a baby will do to someone) the last thing they want is to deal with working on romantic relationships. You girls actually do the opposite and prefer to have a guy there through the rough times. Sometimes guys just want to be left alone in order to deal with the stress. Having to work out the issues with you may be even more stressful to him.

In summary, you ultimately want to make sure your child has a father in his life. You may not be able to have this guy as a husband, but you can do your best to make the relationship go as smoothly as possible. For now give him some space, focus your heart on your baby. And hopefully by the time you are ready to deliver, this guy will be by your side supporting the two of you.

The Date Guy

Bunny Shop Store Kicker

Posted by admin in Breaking Up

Nasty Text Messages from “Just a Friend”?

Dear Date Guy,

I really hope you can help resolve my suspicions. . .me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and we have decided to move in together everything has been going good he has not given me one reason to suspect he is cheating except until I found numerous text messages in his phone. . .I couldnt read them all because on his way to work he realized he left his phone and drove back home to get it; anywho the messages that I did read were sent by one of his female co-workers and ranged from “do you think im flirtatious”, “you need to come over while my baby is still asleep” and describing the sexual things she could do to him. when i confronted him he said it was nothing and that nothing happened, he has only been employed at his current job for about 1 and a half months, for some reason I dont believe that this is just a friendly, joking relationship as he makes it to be because when I asked to speak with the young lady he refused to give me her number because he said everyone at his job would know about it. . .but if its just a friendship why would all his co-workers know about it- – -very frustrated!

-Suspicious Girlfriend

Dear Suspicious Girlfriend,

First off, let me say your boyfriend is an amateur. Doesn’t he know that all communication from other females must be deleted immediately? This includes text messages, voicemails, photos, letters, and email communications. It’s simple guys, view it and delete it. Remember the saying “seeing is believing?” Well if she can’t see it (your evidence) than maybe she won’t believe it.

Oh wait, I’m supposed to be giving advice to girls, not guys. Ok, you say that since you have moved in with your boyfriend he hasn’t given you one reason to think he is cheating. If this is the case, why did you invade his privacy and check the text messages on his phone? Obviously he HAS done something before this to create some doubts in your mind, otherwise you wouldn’t have checked his phone.

So you want to know if this girl is “just a friend” as you boyfriend is claiming? I don’t know a whole lot of ladies that would send sexual text messages to a guy without some pre-existing flirting between the two. In the beginning of a relationship like this (especially when two people work together) there is a lot of subtle and innocent flirting, a feeling out period. But over time it will get more intense until you end up comfortable enough to talk about what you are going to do to one another in the sack. You don’t go directly from A to Z, there’s something happening there in the middle.

I’ve had a lot of female friends in my life, many of whom I wanted to sleep with. And with most of those relationship I received some level of flirtation from those girls (even the ones I didn’t end up in bed with). However, I have had a few very close female friends whom I’ve had absolutely zero romantic interest and from those girls I never received any flirtation. Why the difference? Because the girls that did flirt with me obviously picked up on a “vibe” and they knew that I was open to their advances. See what I’m getting at? If she had no interest in him romantically then she wouldn’t be flirting with him the way she is. And if he had no interest in her, she would likely pick up on that vibe and refrain from flirting with him. Sounds like neither one of these are the case right now and there is something that is encouraging the nasty text messages.

Maybe he has or maybe he hasn’t actually cheated on you, but that really isn’t the larger issue. There is a lack of trust on your part and a lack of respect on his part. At the end of the day, the relationship he has with this other girl is more than “just friends,” regardless of whether or not they have hooked up.

-The Date Guy

Posted by admin in Cheating, Text Messages

Is He Really Going to “Cross the Line”?

Today on the homepage of Yahoo! was an article called 6 Flirting Scenarios That Cross the Line written by Dr. Laura Berman. Since it was written by a female, I thought I’d take a look at it from a guy’s perspective and chime in. The following are the six scenarios that she considers crossing the line.

- Cyber-flirting
- Dirty dancing with people other than your partner
- Buying other girls/guys drinks
- Being too affectionate with members of the opposite sex
- Commenting on the attractiveness of other men/women to your spouse
- Flirting with the waiter/waitress/handyman, etc.

I agree that all of the behaviors can be disrespectful if done repeatedly, but some can also be outright innocent. That said, which of these are most likely to lead to actual infidelity by a man? From most likely to least likely: Excess affection with other women, dirty dancing, cyber-flirting, flirting with other women, and commenting on the attractiveness of other women.

Excessive affection is pretty obviously. If your guy is constantly hugging on other girls not only is it a lack of respect to you, but could mean that he is either currently cheating or could do so in the future. It’s a sign that he is extremely comfortable with that girl and that can slippery slope.

Dirty dancing is definitely inappropriate and falls pretty much in line with giving another woman too much affection.

Cyber-flirting can be a sticky one. This can be a sign that the guy likes the fantasy of being with another girl, but actually taking it to the next level and actually crossing the line shouldn’t be assumed.

Flirting with a waitress or saying another girl is attractive I think is the most harmless of the bunch. After all ladies, I’m sure you don’t hide your attraction to Brad Pitt from your man. One caveat I’ll make is that if he does flirt in front of you and at your expense it may not be the road to infidelity, but definitely take a closer look at your relationship.

Posted by admin in Insider Information