Just thought you girls might want to hear what some men’s magazines recommend when it comes time for a guy to break up with a girl. Here are some conflicting views from from AskMen.com and Maxim Magazine. One view is a bit kinder and more respectful approach than the other. I’m sure you’ll have no problem figuring out which one it is. Which one would you prefer if you were getting dumped? Personally, I recommend a combination of the two.

We’ll start with AskMen.com:

  1. Make her the first to know. Out of respect for her, never tell your friends you’re going to break up before telling her it’s over. It’s a simple thing women consider sacred. (I don’t agree. Friends are great confidants and might be able to offer you advice or give you the support you need to go through with it. I don’t understand how this would be disrespectful to the girl.)
  2. Find a neutral zone. It’s not fair to end the relationship at your place, nor should you be forced to see a picture of you and her hugging on her fridge. (I disagree here as well. If it an emotional break up, she’ll feel even worse if she breaks down in public. Better to leave the tears at home where she is more comfortable. And definitely don’t do it at your place, you could have a hell of a time getting her to leave.)
  3. End it in person. If you’ve lost that loving feeling, be courteous and tell her face-to-face. (I agree. Email, phone, and text message may be ok…if you’re 11 years old.)
  4. Keep it simple. There’s no need to put her through the history of your decision to break up. She does deserve an explanation, but save her the long-winded reasons of exactly why and how things went sour. (Agreed. The longer you talk the more ammo she’ll have to get you to change your mind.)
  5. Get her to see your point of view. You’re probably not the only one that’s been feeling the relationship going downhill. A dose of reality might be just what the doctor ordered to get her to accept what it is you need to say — and do — about it. A good way to get her to understand why you and she aren’t best suited for one another is through a simple example. (No, no, no. For example, what if one of the reasons you want to break up with her is because she is lousy in bed? How could telling her this be of benfit to either of you?)
  6. Don’t change your mind. There’s a big reason why you made the decision to confront her with the end of your relationship, be sure and stick to your guns even if she cries. Remember, you wanted to stop dating her for a reason. (Agreed, 100%)
  7. Be ready for tears. Whether she’s glad you said something or not, chances are tears will be shed. Ending a relationship can bring intense emotion and she’s not about to save you from seeing it all pour out at once. When she does start to cry, be sympathetic but don’t be drawn in by an overflow of powerful emotion. Be an emotional rock. (Maybe. I’m on the fence with this one. If you throw a couple of tears in there yourself, she may let you off the hook a little easier.)
  8. Have an exit strategy. Make sure to have plans set with friends later that day. This will ensure that the breakup process isn’t dragged on longer than necessary and that you’re not alone if you feel bad about what just happened. (Agreed. I would suggest making plans with family, not friends. Ditching her so you can hang with your buds may be a bit callous in her view. However, if you have to meet up with mom and dad for dinner at a certain time it will be more difficult for her to be upset with you for cutting out.)

And what does an article from Maxim Magazine recommend?

  1. Lay the Groundwork. Quitting a relationship is kind of like running a marathon: Do it on an impulse and you’ll run out of steam before reaching the finish line. Better strengthen your resolve with mental imagery. Here’s how: Every day for a couple of weeks, envision what your life would be like if you wimped out and stayed with her until just past Valentine’s Day
  2. Choose the Right Site. Ready to break the news? Consider cushioning the blow by doing it in the comfort of her own home. “She’ll feel more in control,” explains Laurie Frankel, author of It’s Not Me…It’s You! (And Can We Not Be Friends?). “And she at least gets to tell you when to leave. Small compensation, but when pride is on the line, every bit counts.”
  3. Start Wrecking. Once you’ve arrived at the chopping block, be quick. Breaking up is like removing a Band-Aid: Rip it off fast and it’ll hurt less. Just say, “I was really excited at first, but I’m just not feeling it the way I used to.” That way it’s about your feelings —a virtually bulletproof argument since she can’t change ’em.
  4. Finish the Job. She’ll have plenty of questions to chip away at your resolve, so keep things vague. Point out how you fall below her standards. “That way I’ll feel empowered because I’m not settling for less than I deserve,” says Laura, 28. “It makes me feel like it was my decision…even though I totally just got dumped.”
  5. Sweep Up Before You Leave. Don’t let her wallow or rail on you for more than 20 minutes. After that you’re bound to start rehashing the same things. The best way to wrap things up? Leave her with a compliment like, “Our time together has been amazing.” As Laura says, “I’m always going to replay some horrible insult in my head, so it’d be better to have something positive to focus on to balance it out.” Then get up to leave, even if she’s a blubbering mess.Give her a warm, firm hug (if she doesn’t smack you away first), tell her you’re very sorry, then skulk off.
  6. Damage Control. You’re not free yet. Next she’ll call looking for “closure,” a fancy term for asking questions she doesn’t want answered. Stick to the lines you learned in Step 4. You guys can become friends, but for now keep your distance.

As you can see, breaking up with anyone can be hard work. So maybe next time you should give the guy a break, at least a little one. Hope you enjoyed this slice of “insider information.”