Dear Date Guy,

Need advice, please Help!!! I’ve had the biggest crush on my coworker and have wanted to date him for months now but was always too shy to talk to him. He finally asked me for my number and came to my house. I was so excited, unfortunately we started drinking and I got REALLY drunk. My roomate told me I was bumping into walls, falling down spilling my drink and giving him a lap dance. She said I was crawling all over him. I dont remember much of the night but I know we ended up having sex. This was the first night that I hung out with him. So not only did I make an ass out of myself by acting extremely stupid, I also looked like a hoe by sleeping with him the first night. And it gets worse… I didnt remember him telling me he was leaving so I called and cursed him out for leaving without saying bye (which he did) and also I had gotten my period after he left and thinking I had it while we slept together I told him. He didnt even know. I sent him a text the next day to which he replied “no need to feel bad” but when I text him the next day to apologize again (because I couldnt stop feeling embarrassed) He never wrote me back. I really liked him a lot and I messed up my chances. Is there anything I can do at this point to redeem myself? Also he is only 20, I’m 25 so I dont want him to feel I’m pressuring him for anything. I really want to date him, I just feel like a fool now. Help!!!

Janice from Tampa Bay, FL

Dear Janice,

Sorry to break it to you, but your reputation has been tarnished with this guy. At this point all you can do is go in for a little damage control and not worry so much about getting him to date you. Here’s a pretty basic tip you girls tend to forget, don’t sleep with the guy on the first date if you want to have a serious relationship with him.

OK, now back to your problems. To begin with, you kind of set yourself up for this. For a guy, going over to a girls house and having some drinks is ideal. It doen’t cost anything, it’s comfortable, and chances of sex are good. If you really wanted to date this guy, you should have met on neutral territory and saved the home date for a later time. This would have established that you do liked him but were not going to put out on the first night.

You did the correct thing by apologizing right way. Unfortunately that probably didn’t change his opinion of you very much. He may think that you did indeed made a mistake, but that it likely wasn’t the first time you got sloppy drunk and spread your legs for a guy. You can tell him that you really do like him and that what you did was a mistake. You’d like to date him if he would be willing to take it a bit slower.

-The Date Guy


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