Dear Date Guy,

Last night (and here is where I need your advice) we had a “date” at the same bar we meet at a couple of weeks ago. I like to drink and smoke socially, he does not. He’s one of those that goes to the gym all the time and tries to be healthy. After a while some of his friends showed up, they were all pretty cool. But as time went on, they started to try to get him to smoke a cig. I’ve tried that with him before but he only made me feel bad for smoking myself. Well, guess what, he caves into the peer pressure and lights up a smoke. This made me mad.

We left the bar and headed back to our cars. He asked me to come back to his place but because I was kind of mad I told him no. He seemed irritated by that. We say goodbye and make out for a while before we leave. As we were going, he asked me if I could give him another calling card cuz his had run out and he wanted to be able to talk to me more.

So here is where I need your advice. I know he likes me or he wouldn’t have introduced me to his friends at the bar. And even though he smoked under the pressure of his friends maybe he did it because he wanted to have something in common with me. Also, we made out for a long time when we went to our cars so that seems like just another sign that he is into me.  I want to keep dating him but in all actually I don’t have a lot of money and dont want to keep having to buy him phone cards to support the relationship. What should I do next, please help?

-Debbie in Denver

Dear Debbie,

The fact that you never have gotten this guy to smoke a cigarette with you, yet he lights up with his friends is a clear indicator of where you rank on his scale of importance. If he truly respected you, he would have disregarded his friends’ pressure.  Obviously he’d much rather not let his friends down than you. This kind of behavior will not change anytime soon and you will find yourself taking the backseat to his friends for a long time.

And not being able to call you due to expired cell phone minutes? You must be joking. A guy who is serious about a girl will do whatever it takes to get the opportunity to spend time on the phone as this is a great way for him to build the relationship AND unlike a date, it doesn’t cost him any money.

All signs here point to this guy being a loser. Save not only your phone card, but your time and respect too.  If he stops calling with the excuse of not having phone minutes tell him to email you instead.  You need to see that this guy is putting effort into the relationship.  That is the keyword, effort.  As I like to say, actions speak louder than words.

Sincerely,

The Date Guy

Posted by admin in His Friends