Dating advice for issues that involve Sex

What is My Relationship Label?


Im 25 yrs old and met this guy at a bar that I go to often, back in September. We liked each other right off the bat. We would text each other during the week and only see each other after the bar on the weekend. I started liking him more and more all the time. Well around the end of November I think he realized this and wrote me a text and told me that he wasnt sure if we could hang out because he didnt want to hurt anyones feelings and that he still had feelings for his ex. Well I got a little angry, but appreciated his honesty. Well that lasted all of one day, because after he saw that he hurt me he began calling and asking me over. So I went and said I wont expect anything this time, just some casual sex with a friend.
Well this has risen over the past month and a half to me being at his house up to five times a week. He cooks me dinner, I cook him dinner, he has began calling me ‘honey’ which I love, and we just hang out, talk and have a blast, mostly followed by sex, but not always. I think he is liking me more and more but I dont want to ask for a label, because im afraid of disappointment.

So my question is, what is this relationship? Is it ‘buddies’? Does he like me? or am I reading too much into it, or am I asking for too much?


Dear RB,

Oh you girls are so silly and so predictable. “I’m OK with having sex and just being friends.” I’ve heard that one a few times in my day and never once did the girl not get attached and want a relationship that was more than just F-buddies. And you my dear are no different.

So what is this relationship you have? Well it’s a guy’s dream relationship. He puts in zero work but still receives a paycheck. You go over to his house, you two cook food, and usually follow up with some sex. How great is that? He doesn’t have to leave his house, doesn’t have to take you out for a nice dinner, and he usually gets to sleep with you. Score for him.

All that said, he may still like you and like you very much. If you are truly spending 5 days a week together then he is likely not seeing other girls. However, his last girl may have been a royal pain in the ass/high maintenance and with you he is just simply enjoying the casualness of what you have.

You made a comment that stands out to me. You said, “am I asking for too much?” Shouldn’t the real question be, “am I receiving enough?”

Moving on. Two ways you can find out what he thinks your relationship is. First one is the least time consuming and easiest. ASK! You obviously want a relationship that is more than just casual sex. You want this guys as your boyfriend. Why waste your time dating someone who isn’t ready or willing to give you what you truly want? You don’t have to get all sappy or too demanding. Simply say to him, “I have to admit that I’ve started to develop some real feelings for you and would like this to be something that is more than just friends.” You should have no shame in asking that. In fact, being straightforward is a sign of confidence and high self esteem. If he then tells you that he’s not ready for a relationship or not over his ex, then you have your answer. He simply thinks of your arrangement as “friends with benefits.”

The other option is to simply withhold the sex. Tell him that you are really enjoying your friendship and that without being boyfriend/girlfriend sex doesn’t seem appropriate anymore (just don’t stop putting out without saying something. This will only confuse and piss him off. We aren’t mind readers). If you do this for just a couple of weeks one of two things will happen. One is that he’ll start to phase you out because he isn’t getting any action and you’ll then know that you were never more than a F-buddy. However, if he does want a serious relationship you should see him putting more effort into the relationship because he’ll know that in order to keep you around that he’ll have to step it up. It will come clear to you that he feels the same way you do by his actions.


The Date Guy

15 Year Old Guys are Very, Very Horny

Date Guy,

Ok, so I know I am 15, but i really need advice from a guys perspective. If you don’t reply to this I understand. I had this boyfriend last year, we went out, broke up, went out then broke up again. I still love him (he is my first love) and he still likes me but we both arent good in relationships because we have flirtatious personalities and being so young we don’t like to be tied down with relationships. We have been talking, and everything, we are very close, and he said he wants to lose his virginity to me because he cares about me and he’ll always be here for me, and I want to lose mine to him too, but I am afraid hes a guy and is just saying what I want to hear.
He likes alot of girls, and from what I have heard he has tried to get into a couple girls pants and I just want to believe I am different, but from your perspective. Do you think he is just saying what I want to hear?


Dear P.W.,

I’ll just jump in here. Yes, he’s telling you what you want to hear. It’s hard for girls to fathom just how amazingly horny guys are at 15 years old and what they will do to get some action. The thought of girls and sex cross a guy’s mind at least once a minute, every minute of the day. Chances are that if another girl told him that she wanted to lose her virginity to him he would tell her the same thing he told you.

So do you or don’t you give it up? Ask yourself this, if you slept with him this weekend and next weekend he sleeps with (and you find out) another girl how will you feel? Will you look back in regret years later?

If he’s trying to get into other girls’ panties, he’ll probably be there soon enough, especially if word spreads that he slept with you. Once a guy gets that first sexual experience under his belt (no pun intended) his confidence grows and so will his opportunities for more sex.


The Date Guy

Posted by admin in Sex

Not Too Outgoing and Not Too Well Endowed

Hey Date Guy,

So here’s the situation I’ve liked this guy for a while now, met him at a societies’ freshers recruiting event (we are both at University), got his number a few weeks later, invited him round for a dinner party shortly after that, slept with him a week later. Since we slept together, he’s taken me out to lunch a few times but nothing else has happened. I mean not even kissing/touching…which i can’t totally blame him for because i haven’t tried.

I have no idea what’s going on or what to do from here.

Would appreciate any advice you can offer me.

PS: He is quite shy and younger than I am. He is also not very well endowed as far as his manhood is concern,and I am aware that he is conscious of that


Dear Nikki,

It sounds like you’ve taken the initiative since day one with this guy so it is no surprise that he’s not busting a move right now. If he really is that shy, I’m guessing either you made the first move when you two sex or that there was alcohol involved. If you are interested in this guy, you will probably have to initiate the kissing/touching one more time. He might not be 100% sure that you still like him, hence he is hessitant to make the first move for fear of rejection. Make the move one more time and unless he’s a total nerd, he should get the hint.

Now I would like to move on to the other part of your delema, the fact that this guy’s package is less than impressive. And as you mention, you know he’s self conscious of his short-comings. It sounds like you want to date him so it is somewhat likely you’ll find yourself in bed with him again. Long ago I read an advice column in Playboy (and yes, I do actually read the magazine for the articles as they are suprisingly intelligent.) where a girl was in a situation similar to yours. I felt pretty embarrased for the guy so the aricle kind of stuck in my mind. Anyway, I thought the advice made sense, therefore I’ll relay it to you as expressed by Playboy.

If he’s got a small one, the last thing he’ll want is for you to take a good hard look at it. In his mind, the more you see the more self conscious he’s going to be (especially if he’s not aroused). So, next time before you rip his clothes off turn out the lights so that when his ding dong is out, it’s smallness is a bit more hidden. Second, try laying off of the oral. If you’re down there, you’re getting to know his unit pretty well and again this only brings added attention to its size. You will not need to do this forever, but in the early goings as you two are just starting to get familar with one another it’s a good game plan. As you do it more often and get more comfortable, express to him that you like everything about him physically and that he really turns you on in bed. His guard should come down and his self confidence will go up.

Take care,

Date Guy

Posted by admin in Does He Like Me?, Sex

But I’m Really Not a Drunk Slut!

Dear Date Guy,

Need advice, please Help!!! I’ve had the biggest crush on my coworker and have wanted to date him for months now but was always too shy to talk to him. He finally asked me for my number and came to my house. I was so excited, unfortunately we started drinking and I got REALLY drunk. My roomate told me I was bumping into walls, falling down spilling my drink and giving him a lap dance. She said I was crawling all over him. I dont remember much of the night but I know we ended up having sex. This was the first night that I hung out with him. So not only did I make an ass out of myself by acting extremely stupid, I also looked like a hoe by sleeping with him the first night. And it gets worse… I didnt remember him telling me he was leaving so I called and cursed him out for leaving without saying bye (which he did) and also I had gotten my period after he left and thinking I had it while we slept together I told him. He didnt even know. I sent him a text the next day to which he replied “no need to feel bad” but when I text him the next day to apologize again (because I couldnt stop feeling embarrassed) He never wrote me back. I really liked him a lot and I messed up my chances. Is there anything I can do at this point to redeem myself? Also he is only 20, I’m 25 so I dont want him to feel I’m pressuring him for anything. I really want to date him, I just feel like a fool now. Help!!!

Janice from Tampa Bay, FL

Dear Janice,

Sorry to break it to you, but your reputation has been tarnished with this guy. At this point all you can do is go in for a little damage control and not worry so much about getting him to date you. Here’s a pretty basic tip you girls tend to forget, don’t sleep with the guy on the first date if you want to have a serious relationship with him.

OK, now back to your problems. To begin with, you kind of set yourself up for this. For a guy, going over to a girls house and having some drinks is ideal. It doen’t cost anything, it’s comfortable, and chances of sex are good. If you really wanted to date this guy, you should have met on neutral territory and saved the home date for a later time. This would have established that you do liked him but were not going to put out on the first night.

You did the correct thing by apologizing right way. Unfortunately that probably didn’t change his opinion of you very much. He may think that you did indeed made a mistake, but that it likely wasn’t the first time you got sloppy drunk and spread your legs for a guy. You can tell him that you really do like him and that what you did was a mistake. You’d like to date him if he would be willing to take it a bit slower.

-The Date Guy