Hi Date Guy,

Im a 37 year old female in a high powered job. I also have company that I just started. I was introduced to a mortgage broker 5 months ago by an older acquaintance. From the start I wanted to be just friends with him coz some things i didnt like: he was physically aggressive by our second date and this continued and it had the effect of turning me off – we havent slept together. Also he just didnt strike me as someone who really cared about me. He’s let slip that im a bit overweight and on another occasion said i was boring. He has been abrasive and impatient with me on occasion.

Now the housing market has bust and he’s looking for ways to make money, he has asked if there is anything he can do to help out my company. silly me, i had been prattling to him about it. Interspersed with that are comments about us having children and shared values, as well as comments about how im more accomplished than he is. The thing is I have a history of one bad relationship where i was taken advantage of and a history of child abuse. The last thing I need is another bad situation. I do like this guy and eventually told him about the abuse, but because of how he behaved before i told him i dont feel comfortable with him anymore. Now he wants to be involved with me financially. Im confused as to what to do next.

Thank you,

Dear Fados,

Even if you think the rest of my advice is crap, heed this: Do not, I repeat, do not get financially involved with this loser. I’ve had girls purposely leave behind items over at my place to insure that they could stay in touch with me after I slept with them. This would work in some regards as it would then take me a couple of weeks to completely phase them out. This would be doing the same thing, just with money. You get involved with this guy financially and it could take you years until he’s out of your life.

Everything you have written about this guy spell L.O.S.E.R. He’s aggressive, abrasive, impatient, you don’t feel like he cares about you, and he’s called you fat and boring. Yeah, yeah, I can hear you saying that deep down inside he’s a nice guy. Don’t defend him as his actions speak volumes about his true nature. He treats you like crap on a personal level, do you really think he’d respect a monetary relationship with you?

So the big question is how do you let this guy know that you aren’t going to extend your relationship? You need to use the same intelligence and ambition you have obviously used to become a successful business women and entrepreneur. Think of this purely as a business decision. Would you hire an employee who wasn’t a good fit for you company? Would you invest in a product that was not profitable? Of course not. You need to be strong and straightforward with this guy. Simply tell him that you have found it best to not mixed business with friendship. There you go, that kills two birds with one stone. That single statement lets him know that you don’t want to get involved with him financially AND that you are not interested in a romantic relationship. Don’t be surprised if he stops coming around once he knows that he won’t be getting any action or money from you.

Stand stong and think with your head, not your heart,

-Date Guy

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