Date Guy,

I was dating this guy off and on for about three months and then I found out I was pregnant. He took the news well and asked me to move in. I lived with him for about two months and just the other day we got into a huge fight and he dumped me. We have only fought about three times throughout our relationship but every time we do, he dumps me. Also, we fight via text message because he never will call or come home if we are fighting. I’m going threw a stressful time and am very upset. I believe he isn’t really ready for a committed relationship if he continues to dump me whenever we fight. He made me move out of his house so now I’m living with my parents and we aren’t talking. He is just so confusing and I’m so hurt. He acts, however, like he doesn’t care at all. He told he would be a good dad to baby and I know he will. I need him too though. Please help.

It sounds like your guy tried “to do the right thing” by having you move in, likely for the sake of your baby. Unfortunately his habit of breaking up with you when you fight is definitely a sign that he’s not ready for a true commitment. The good news here is that you’ve only been dating this guy for about six months it sounds like, so it’s not as if you’re married of have a long and deep history to overcome.

The most important piece of advice I can give you is that through this rough period you must do one thing first and that is to focus all of your energies into the human being that you will be bringing into this crazy world of ours. At this point your current relationship with your boyfriend (ex-boyfriend) needs to take a back seat as it is secondary in importance. I know you are probably thinking, “but he’s my baby’s father” and you’re right, but for him to be the best father possible it sounds like he’s going to need some space for a while. The last thing you want to do at this point is drive this guy away completely. Obviously he’s not that interested in the relationship between the two of you right now. You’re going to have to weather that storm. What you want to do is make sure that by the time you have your baby that this guy actually embraces the role of fatherhood.

When guys are stressed out (which having a baby will do to someone) the last thing they want is to deal with working on romantic relationships. You girls actually do the opposite and prefer to have a guy there through the rough times. Sometimes guys just want to be left alone in order to deal with the stress. Having to work out the issues with you may be even more stressful to him.

In summary, you ultimately want to make sure your child has a father in his life. You may not be able to have this guy as a husband, but you can do your best to make the relationship go as smoothly as possible. For now give him some space, focus your heart on your baby. And hopefully by the time you are ready to deliver, this guy will be by your side supporting the two of you.

Cheers,
The Date Guy

Bunny Shop Store Kicker

Posted by admin in Breaking Up